Amy Chua, the “Tiger Mom”, and her daughters at the 2011 Time 100 gala. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This book created a lot of fuss when it came out back in 2011. The Wall Street Journal published an excerpt, and there are now nearly 9,000 comments on that post. A lot of people were very upset, suffice to say. It’s a book about what Chua calls the Chinese method of parenting — it’s very strict; there’s a major focus on school and music; not so much focus on friends/sports/games/TV/”fun”, essentially. Really, read that excerpt and read some of the comments on it.
I’m neither Chinese nor a parent, and I have to say I actually agreed with a lot of Chua says in her book. Perhaps her methods are extreme (threatening to burn her daughter’s stuffed animals if she refuses to practice her instrument, for example), but I also think school and music are very important. Fun isn’t unimportant, don’t get me wrong, but it shouldn’t come at the detriment of learning. Learning can be fun!
Amy Chua doesn’t like the idea of self-esteem very much. She says in her book, “Western parents are concerned about their children’s psyches. Chinese parents aren’t. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently. […] Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them.”
I had a chat with my own mama last night about “self-esteem”. My parents always expected the best of me, so I expected (expect!) the best of me, too. Telling a child she’s “good enough” (whether it’s at math, soccer, violin, …) when she’s not is just setting her up for failure later in life, or at least mediocrity. Why bother trying to improve when you’re already “good enough”?
On an almost completely unrelated note, this is the second book in a row I’ve read where the protagonist is a lawyer and law professor who went into that career because she felt like she “should”. As someone who works with (read: for) lawyers and was half-thinking about law school, it makes you stop and re-consider.
Put the Book Down 