Sam Saboura’s Real Style: Style Secrets for Real Women with Real Bodies by Sam Saboura; illustrations by Bunky Hurter (2005)

Saboura is the guy from the old Extreme Makeover reality show, where they had plastic surgeons and cosmetic dentists and all these people make over so-called ‘ugly’ people. This book isn’t really about that; the focus here is really just on clothes and dressing to suit your body type. (I am a ‘half-pint’, apparently.)

It’s just funny — this book isn’t even quite a decade old, but some of the information is so out of date… No mention at all of skinny jeans! Nothing about Spanx. Patterned tights are super uncool. There’s a backlash against pashminas! Just get used to having to haul up your strapless dress and wiggle back into it… Strange.

Real Simple Solutions: Tricks, Wisdom, and Easy Ideas to Simplify Every Day by the eds. of Real Simple Magazine

This is a pretty book by the editors of a pretty website , and it’s got lots of pretty pictures and pretty fonts and pretty layouts. The premise is exactly what the (sub-)title states: tricks, wisdom, and easy ideas. Includes such helpful hints as:

• how to wash your face (apparently it’s possible to do it wrong?) (pg.24)
• use Velcro to stick things to other things (pgs. 90-91)
• use a mug to hold stuff that’s not tea/coffee (pg. 152)
• use scissors to cut things (pg. 62)
• how to set a table (pg.156-157)
• how to “jazz up old standby beverages”: rim a margarita glass with sea salt and lime, or a Bloody Mary with celery salt (pg. 146). No shit. I will say, as a Canadian, that a Caesar will beat a Blood Mary any day.

In summary: if you can already read, you’re probably too smart for this book.

Sweater Girls: 20 Patterns for Starlet Sweaters, Retro Wraps & Glamour Knits by Madeline Weston and Rita Taylor (2012)

Me knitting… or trying to. The cat on my lap is kind of in the way. (Photo credit: Kathryn Walsh)

Yes, I am that girl who knits. And yes, I read books of knitting patterns. I was excited about this one too — ’30s/’40s/’50s styles are often right up my alley. But when I actually opened it up, I was super disappointed. So many of the pieces were straight-up ugly, and the few pretty ones had unnecessarily complicated patterns. There’s one I might try to attempt after I finish what I’m currently working on, but we’ll see.